In the last couple of days I have found myself thinking a bit longer at night and waking up in the morning truly wondering what the day will bring. I am used to a bit more routine – not necessarily in my physical schedule, but mentally, internally. I find that one moment I am, “okay – we got this” and another moment, I am wondering, “what is happening? and how is what I am doing right now significant?”
Sometimes when there is so much unknown that is thrown at us in every direction, it seems as if everything else seems a bit obsolete and of no importance in the moment, but that headspace is not good to stay in. It is toxic and sadly, I think many of us are struggling with falling in and out of this space. We are having extreme highs and lows as we are all trying to navigate what is happening in the world. As we figure out new routines of being at home, distancing and just creating a new normal of balance – we still have a bit of uncertainty and this sense of loss in our souls.
We have lost independence, we have lost freedoms, we have lost the ease and convenience of minimal tasks, and we have lost a bit of our sanity and consistent structure. The truth is, that is probably the reality of most of you reading this, but I want to shed light on what is for the rest of the world.
The idea of distancing is nearly impossible when you have a family of ten and live in a slum where a curtain separates you from the next family. The idea of staying behind closed doors in the safety of your home is not ideal when if there is no work for that day then there is absolutely no food coming home to your family. Many communities around the world are actually not afraid of catching the virus itself, they are afraid of going hungry.
So, as I sat on my back steps last night, I overlooked the Indian ocean and for the first time in a long time watched the sun set over the horizon. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths and did what all I had strength to do – I prayed.
What do we do for our community in a situation like this? How do we come alongside the people we love so much? How do we love big, wide and deep in a situation that is beyond our knowledge, control or understanding?
I do not have those answers, but what I do know is that I will continue to show up, press in and speak up for those who are afraid to.
I will continue to advocate for what is needed and continue to love as deep as I can even when it is scary.
To all of you who feel insignificant or lost today, know you are not alone and truly, take it day by day.
We are in this together and together we are only stronger, so let us pick up our heads and walk forward being as fully present as we can.
Taking it day by day,